Learn 10 Communication Tips for women on speaking your truth, and dealing with difficult situations

By Brandy Alvarado-Miranda, CEO of BAM! Marketing & PR Agency

Read the full article on Commercial Integrator

I used to be a very meek, wallflower kind of woman. Something changed that for me during my late 30’s. I found my voice. It didn’t happen overnight, but every day, I feel more and more compelled to speak up, speak out, and speak my truth. Being an advocate comes easily for me now, and that courage is a blessing and curse some days.

I first found my voice in the corporate world. I was fortunate to have a work environment that allowed me to use my voice and present new ideas and opinions. Even if those ideas were vetted and deemed unusable, I wasn’t diminished. I was encouraged to continue to think outside the box and offer my perspective. On the flip side, I’ve also found myself in work environments quite the opposite. People talking over one another, over-bearing bosses who dictate and micro-manage, rampant man-splaining, and a lack of career development opportunities were the standard.

Most of us were conditioned as girls, to “play nice”, “play it safe”, “watch your brother/sister”, and many other socialization norms. Boys on the flip side are taught to play hard, get dirty, and Evil Knieval over a make-shift ramps on their bikes. (Shoutout to my brother Bryan for that last feat) Women often play to “get along”, whereas men often play to win. Why is this? In short terms, it has a lot to do with gender communication, as well as stereotypical gender roles often imposed as we are growing up. This has a direct effect on our communication styles and is hard to change without some major mental shifts.

For me personally, I prefer a little sugar, plenty of spice, tell-it-like-it-is, and fully transparent kind of communication. I have learned that I feel better communicating this way instead of beating around the bush or sweeping stuff under the rug and hoping it will get resolved. The outcomes of those conversations are very different as well. Instead of a poorly delivered, wishy-washy response, mine is direct, approachable, and collaborative. This is by no means, a masterclass, but let me impart of few things I learned that may help you feel more confident in your communications.    

1. 1.      Know Your Audience

Understanding your audience is key for effective communication. Try to aim your message to fit the context and expectations of your listeners. In a corporate setting, this might mean using industry jargon and a formal tone, while in a casual setting, you can be more relaxed and personal. Recognize the cultural and social nuances that might influence how your message is received. For instance, if you're presenting to a diverse team, ensure your language is inclusive and avoid slang that might not be universally understood.

1. 2.      Be Confident

I’ll be honest, this one is still hard for me. People often say that they perceive me as confident, and that’s because I’ve learned a thing or two. Confidence is often perceived as competence. Even if you're unsure, presenting your ideas with conviction can help you gain the respect and attention of your audience. Take every opportunity you can to step out of your comfort zone to speak or present. Practicing ahead of the event can boost your confidence. Speaking in front of a mirror, recording yourself, do a run-though, or practicing with friends can help you refine your delivery. Remember, confidence doesn’t mean arrogance. It's about believing in your message and your ability to deliver it effectively.

1. 3.      Use Clear and Direct Language

I’ve learned the hard way that being ambiguous can lead to misunderstandings and confusion. Strive to be concise and direct in your communication. This doesn't mean you have to be blunt or insensitive, you can be tactful with your communication to make sure main points are clear. Use simple, straightforward language to convey your message, and avoid unnecessary jargon unless it's appropriate for your audience. This also conveys credibility and clarity.

1. 4.      Develop Active Listening Skills

This is a lesson I’ve tried to show my daughters – listen more than you speak. Effective communication is as much about listening as it is about speaking. Active listening involves fully concentrating, understanding, responding, and then remembering what is being said. Show that you are engaged by nodding, maintaining eye contact, and providing feedback. Don’t speak just for the sake of responding, pay attention, and mirror body language and dialog. This shows respect and fosters a more productive dialogue.

1. 5.      Maintain Positive Body Language

Positive body language includes maintaining eye contact, using open gestures, and having a confident posture. Avoid crossing your arms, which can be perceived as defensive. Non-verbal cues can significantly influence how your message is perceived. Smiling and nodding can also help in creating a positive rapport with your audience. Remember, your body language should align with your words to reinforce your message.

1. 6.      Prepare and Practice

I cannot emphasize enough how important preparation is to effective communication, especially in high-stakes situations like presentations or important meetings. Outline your key points and practice delivering them. This not only helps in reducing anxiety but also ensures that you can convey your message clearly and confidently. Practice can also help you avoid stumbling over certain words or phrases, anticipate potential questions, and prepare appropriate responses.

1. 7.      Ask for Feedback

In my business feedback is essential for growth and improvement. I often ask clients how I did on a campaign. Their input helps me explore new ideas and opportunities for brand growth. I highly encourage you to ask for constructive feedback on your communication style from colleagues, mentors, or friends. This can provide valuable insights into areas where you can improve and help you become a more effective communicator. Be open to criticism and use it as a tool for self-improvement.

1. 8.      Stay Calm Under Pressure

I used to have a colleague that would pinch themselves when they were nervous. Often during a presentation, they’d be pinching their arms with nervousness. High-pressure situations can make it challenging to communicate effectively. Techniques such as deep breathing, pausing before you speak, and staying focused on your key message can help you remain calm. Maintaining composure allows you to think more clearly and respond more effectively, ensuring that your message is conveyed accurately and confidently.

9: Use “I” Statements

As a mentor, this is one tip I often find myself passing along. When expressing your thoughts or feelings, using “I” statements can help you communicate without sounding accusatory. This approach allows you to own your perspective and express your feelings without blaming others. For example, saying “I feel overwhelmed when deadlines are tight” is more constructive than “You always give us tight deadlines.” This technique promotes a more open and less defensive conversation. Here are some of my go-to’s:

-          I think

-          I feel

-          I need

-          I would appreciate

-          I value

-          I find it difficult

-          I believe

10. Build Your Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence (EI) involves understanding and managing your own emotions, as well as recognizing and influencing the emotions of others. High EI can improve your interpersonal interactions and make your communication more effective. Develop your EI by practicing empathy, self-awareness, and self-regulation. Understanding your emotions and those of others can help you navigate complex social situations and communicate more effectively.

Reflections and Insights

Reflecting on my journey, I realize how much I've evolved in terms of communication. These contrasting experiences taught me the importance of advocating for oneself and the power of effective communication. By embracing a communication style that aligns with our true selves—one that is direct, transparent, and collaborative—we can foster more meaningful and productive interactions. Like we say at WAVIT, “Embrace your voice. Be fierce. Be bold. Ripples make waves!” Embrace your unique voice, and have the courage to speak up, speak out, and speak your truth. Trust me, it beats the alternative – hands down!